


(Not) Good enough

by Pinxku



Series: The world of Avengers (mainly Tony Centric) [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Poor Tony, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-05-20 19:32:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19383304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinxku/pseuds/Pinxku
Summary: "Tony wants to cry. The overwhelming need to curl into a ball and let all the pain out. To let out the self-hatred and disappointment of not being good enough for others that have followed him since he was born."OrTony is never good enough. And has some issues. That he needs to get it out!Steve is kinda of a jerk.Good thing Rhodey is a good bro





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Steve is a jerk a little but just cause he fit the character I needed him to be in this.

Tony wants to cry. The overwhelming need to curl into a ball and let all the pain out. To let out the self-hatred and disappointment of not being good enough for others that have followed him since he was born.

Not good enough son to Howard. Not good enough to be a good boyfriend to Pepper. Not good enough to the world as Tony Stark. Not good enough as Ironman. Not good enough to be avenger(  _Ironman yes Tony Stark Not recommended )_

Just

  _Not_

_good_

_enough!_

 

_Such a failure, worthless, peace of a human being._

And now Not good enough to Captain America!

Obviously, he isn't. Captain America is good, kind and just. He is brave strong and everything Tony is not. 

Tony is egotistical, annoying, rude, he insults anyone who thinks he wrong and spends 80% of his time in a lab. He doesn't eat or sleep like a normal person.  He jokes when he shouldn't and plays his part when it's necessary.

He doesn't play well with others to avoid betrayal and the pain and masks his emotions into empty smiles that don't reach his eyes and jokes and snarks to keep others at arm's length.

He can give you a change on a good day and crush you to pieces on a bad one.

And it's  _Just_ so tiring to keep that up. And he is just so tired. To be a person like that. To put all your efforts to be good and to be told that no you just good aren't enough! To be kicked down back on your knees when you just mustered enough strength to get up.

But Starks men are made of iron so he gets up and he keeps going. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

So here he is in front of his team lectured by Captain for not following orders because the order was stupid and would have gotten him and 5 civilians badly hurt or even dead and there was just not enough time to tell... Not that Cap would have listened even if he tries to tell him.

"That was so irresponsible Tony! When I tell you to do something you are supposed to follow!"

"Yes but-" "No you listen it's about time you finally understand that you can't do whatever you want!"

This has been going on forever and the lecture happens at least 3 times a week. (Not that he hasn't been trying to be responsible and what they wanted but it just wasn't good enough)

 Most of the team has stopped listening to this a good 15 minutes ago. Tony was sure at least some of them saw why he couldn't do like he was told but nobody stood up for him. Typical.

Well, Bruce and maybe Thor would have probably but they were not there. Bruce had gotten enough of the shouting match since he was already tired after hulking out and Thor went after him too.

Normally Tony would have overpowered Steve in this conversation to tell why and when but he was just so tired so he let the guy vent it out.

"Are you listening!? I swear if Howard were here he would never do like you did if you could be more like him... " And there it was.

The familiar disappointment.

_Such a failure, worthless, peace of a human being. **Not good enough.**_

It was funny. When he was a kid he wasn't good enough as Captain America was and now he isn't good enough as his trash father. And then the funny turns to hurt which turns to anger. And then... Something snaps in him.

"Yeah? Well, He isn't here and I'm not him! And I will never be him! So stop trying to make me him and see me like him and start seeing me! I shouldn't even need to prove anything to you! I'm sorry I don't treat you like you're perfect like everyone else! I am so tired of feeling guilty for not being what people want me to be!"

His breathing is heavy and just like that everything he has been keeping in just pours out.

He can feel tears in his eyes but he will not let them fall damn it! He wants to stop he wants to go to his lab and drink and drown himself into work and booze. Because in there, there are no expectations, no judging just himself his bots and his work. 

"I'm just so Tired! Tired of feeling like I'm not even a person but someone's problem that shouldn't exist! But I'm sorry that I do and I will continue to be what I am and not what anyone wants! And if you people can't see it then that's your problem. I'm sorry tha-" All the sudden he is envisioned in a warm familiar hug.

He doesn't know who or why but he knows that he knows whoever it is and so he doesn't want to let go. He hears muffled voices and the hands around him tighten their grip.His breathing is even heavier and quicker than before. Tears finally spilling. So he hides his face and clings to the person like it like his lifeline. He feels how he is being picked up and carried away in . He doesn't look up at their confused, angry and pitying looks. The anger for once not directed at him. The smell of vanilla and oil filling his senses. Familiar sent of safety and more important _Rhodey_. His Rhodey who has been disappointed at him but never judged or expected him to be anything. Rhodey who has been there for him since the beginning.

And finally, he cries. He cries and Rhodey doesn't stop him or say anything. He can feel fingers carding through his hair. Soft hum and vibration from the chest he is against. The hug tightening around him.

His cries turn into sobs and after what feels like an eternity his sobs turns to sniffles. He feels safe and calm in the arms of his best friend his  _brother._

 _"Mmm...Rhodey...Im sleepy..."_ After all the shouting and adrenaline rush a wave of sleepiness hit him like a truck.

"Shhhhh...Tones it's okay, you're okay. You did well I'm proud of you. You can sleep now. I'll be here when you wake up " Rhodey replies soothingly fingers continuing their movement.

So Tony sleeps. And for once completely free of nightmares and pain.

 


	2. Good enough for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhodey's POV
> 
> Rhodey is a good bro

This had been unexpected. Rhodey had finally gotten a small holiday from the military and had decided to surprise his best friend by dropping by and spending some time with the energetic genius. Meaby play video games and share a beer or something.

So he enters the Avengers Tower and enters the elevator.

"Greetings Colonel Rhodes. It is good to see you tho I was unaware about your arrival" a smooth British voice of Jarvis greets him.

"Hey J. Yeah I thought I'd surprise Tones so if you could not tell that I'm coming that would be appreciated."

"Of course Colonel. Sir is currently at the common floor and I think it would be good if you would go there to assist him. He seems to be in distress"

In distress?? "Yes, of course, Jarvis take me there now, please" why is Tony in distress? Worry curls around Rhodey as he wills the elevator to move faster.

As the elevator stops at the common room Rhodey could hear shouting. Or more specifically Tony shouting.

He steps into the room watching the scene before him. Tony was in front of him back facing Rhodey shouting at Captain America, Black Widow and Hawkeye. Their faces mixed with shock and sadness.

 _"I'm just so Tired! Tired of feeling like I'm not even a person but someone's problem that shouldn't exist!"_ Tonys words were filled with such pain that it made Rhodey's heartache. He wanted to protect. He could see the awkward and shy teen back in the MIT in Tony. Before he knew he was approaching the genius from behind.

" _But I'm sorry that I do and I will continue to be what I am and not what anyone wants! And if you people can't see it then that's your problem. I'm sorry that-_ " and he was hugging Tony cutting him off sentence. Bringing the smaller man to his chest and wrapping his hands around the genius like when they were younger after  Tony and bastard father had a fight on the phone.

He can feel Tony cling to him. Hiding his face into his broad chest. So he tightens his own crip.

"Excuse me who are you?" Captain America Asks seemingly snapping out of his trance.

"I'm Tonys Best Friend and that's all you need to know. Now I'm taking him to his floor and we will be having a conversation later" He promises with a no bullshit tone.

Then he pics Tony up and walks in the elevator, it starts moving on its own thank you, Jarvis.

Tony has started to cry now small sobs escaping him making Rhodeys heart ache even harder. Wanting to make the genius smile and wipe the tears away.

He hums as he starts carding his fingers through Tony's hair as they settle down on the bed. Then they just sit there. Letting Tony let all of it out.

Soon Tony's sobs turn silent sniffles. Rhodes keeps waiting.

A small voice so small that he almost misses it.

"Mmm... Rhodey...I'm sleepy..." Rhodey's hear melts so he just smiles and whispers soothingly back.

"Shhh... Tones it's okay, you're okay. You did well I'm proud of you. You can sleep now. I'll be here when you wake up" he then continues carding his fingers in Tony's hair as the smaller man falls asleep on him"

"Jarvis tell me what happened" he whispers

So Jarvis complies telling The Colonel what happened on the mission and the lecture which led to Tonys inevitable break down.

Rhodey ponders on that. Seeing that this had been a misunderstanding. He can see that Captain's frustration on not following orders but the way he just assumed and didn't let Tony explain. Besides, even a leader should stand down and listen to others and their tactics. Not always is the leader right.

So obviously he tells this to the captain after calling him up and giving the most murderous glare if the guy dares to wake Tony up. But at first, he did want to hear the captains side. He did not get this far in his job by assuming.

"He never listens on the field he just does his own thing even when I give him an order" the captain explains as Rhodey had expected.

"Well have you asked him why? Did you think why he would go against you?" Did you-" "Because he is not a team player that doesn't care about others but himself"

This gets an eyebrow raise. Tony can be a hard cookie but selfish? No.

"Don't interrupt me. I outrank your ass. Now I know Tony can be hard sometimes but no matter how the papers try to ruin him and how he keeps up his mask Tony is not selfish. He let you in his home he gives you food and a home and armory. He is trying to be better. So you do not get to call him selfish. Not you." He whispers angrily careful not to wake the sleeping genius on his lap up.

"The reason I asked did you ask him why is cause if Tony had followed your command 5 people and Tony would have gotten badly hurt. You would know this if you had asked."

The captain looked at him for a while shame flashing on his features. Rhodey sighs.

"Listen I understand that as a leader you have a responsibility and such you should be able to let others make their own moves if needed. I know you are new to everything but I'm sure it was like that back then too. But you should talk to him instead of assuming. He can seem reckless but usually, he does choose what was the best course of action"

The captain nods acceptingly at this looking down.

"Yes, I will talk to him and apologize. I realize I went too far. And bringing up his father was clearly too far. He seems not to like him" he frowns as he said this.

"Yes, his father was not the best. And no let me explain! He might have been great back in the day but the Howard he was after was not a nice person. So I wouldn't bring him when Tony is present" Rhodey explains.

Captain Nods again.

"Well then. I won't mention him. And it's good to see that Tony has a friend to back him up. It would be great to get to know you. You know under better circumstances."

Rhodes smiles. It would take a while that he would be all friendly with this guy but for now, they part with him calling the man Steve and Steve calling him Rhodey. 

Now alone with Tony, he watches the younger man with gentle eyes. He can't feel his legs anymore but damn if he moves he would be a disappointment to his country and himself so he stays thinking how this has become his life. But one thing he knows is that he doesn't regret it.

And if the team treats Tony better thanks to Rhodey. Well, even tho he suspects he doesn't have to know. Because Rhodey would do anything to his brother.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is a part 2.
> 
> I made Rhodey not bash Steve too hard cause I think he is an rational adult who would want to know all details first.
> 
> Thank you for reading please leave a kudos and Comment if you can those make my day :D

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, this got really angsty I don't know where that came from.
> 
> Remember that you are good enough the way you are. Don't change yourself for someone else's attention or love.
> 
> I got some inspiration from a song "Marshall vs Gumball I'm my own problem Duet Adventure Time"
> 
> I'm quite proud of myself for this.
> 
> Thank you for reading hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Comments and kudos fuel me! (Like really they do)
> 
> ALSO
> 
> I wanna write more so plz send me avengers promts. (Hoping Tony centric)
> 
>  
> 
> Also Come prompts or give promts on Tumbler name is Pinxku22


End file.
